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The charts, graphs and comments in my Trading Blog represent my technical analysis and observations of a variety of world markets...
* Major World Market Indices * Futures Markets * U.S. Sectors and ETFs * Commodities * U.S. Bonds * Forex

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* If the dots don't connect, gather more dots until they do...or, just follow the $$$...





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Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Coping With Losses -- In Life and In Trading (REPOST)

SB's note: I originally wrote this post on February 24, 2013, but thought I'd share it again as we approach the end of 2015...and to wish a Happy Holidays to all...

No doubt, everyone has experienced some kind of loss over the years. Its consequences can be quite painful.

Last Monday (February 18th) my male pussycat, Smudge, who was 14 years old, passed away. He was with me from the age of 8 weeks. He's been my companion and comforter for the past two years since my husband died, and since Smudge's sister died three years ago. My family of four is now a family of one.

Within the space of four short days from when I first took Smudge to the Vet's (on February 15th) to his passing, I experienced a roller-coaster of emotions beginning with:

  • worry (as I suspected he was gravely ill);
  • which progressed to extreme panic and fear (of not knowing what decisions I'd have to make and the ensuing consequences);
  • and then moved on to profound sadness;
  • and then to numbness and disbelief;
  • and, now, to somewhere just slightly above (and more positive than) numbness, as I come to terms with what has happened and where I go from here.

These range of emotions, as well as losing those whom I love, have re-enforced the old saying that "nothing lasts forever." People, events, places, things, and stuff, in general, are transitory and are not ours to keep or possess, but, simply, to borrow and enjoy while they are in our lives. I'm finally realizing that to yearn for something or someone that is in our past (and gone) is not a healthy place to be...it uses up valuable energy and weakens my abilities to, firstly, decide what it is that I desire in life now, and, secondly, from recognizing it and acting on when it tries to show up and become a part of my new life.

You may wonder why I'm writing about this in my trading Blog. I realized today that I've experienced these same emotions when I've made trading losses.

  • First, the worry each morning (as a daytrader) that I won't be able to make money that day;
  • second, extreme panic and fear that I won't know what to do if the trade goes against me;
  • third, profound sadness when I've lost a trade;
  • fourth, numbness and disbelief that this loss happened to me;
  • and fifth, somewhere more positive than numbness as I try to assess the trade and move on to the next opportunity.

There has to be more progression from the fifth state (in my life and in trading)...to that of being in a state of "having and happiness" (since the "Law of Attraction" works without fail and we will get more of what we have or are experiencing in life). It won't do me any good to beat myself up over my loss or yearn for its return by trying to "make up for that loss on the next trade." That never works. It only clouds my judgement and puts me in a state of "not having something that I can never have" (the lost trade)...not a good place to be as it's, simply, a dead-end.

I think I can accomplish that sixth state...my health, happiness, and welfare depend on moving to that level. I know that I have the ability to more forward. I also know that I'm capable of making the right decisions at the right time and that it's so very important to not worry that I can't...I had to make a spit-second decision on Monday and did so without a second thought...oddly enough, I wasn't experiencing fear when I made that decision...I knew it was the right thing to do...and I'm still here...I don't need any more proof than that (that I can do the right thing at the right time, again and again, in life and in trading).

Perhaps you can recall a time when you made a split-second decision and knew that it was the right one...hang onto that experience/feeling and know that you can and will make the right decision at the right time in all areas of your life...do not worry that you can't, because you already have and you can do so again, at all times. It will keep you sane. Stay in the moment, accept things as they are, deal with them (knowing that you can), be grateful for what you do have, and move forward toward your desires, for they do exist (as unformed probabilities of existence)...look for them and they will eventually show up and you'll recognize them when they do...then, and only then, you'll know what to do (not a moment before)...it will feel natural and easy and will be the best option (for you) in the world. Everything will work out in the end...it always does, if you allow it.

I may add more to this article from time to time as more is revealed to me on this subject in the days/weeks/months ahead. In the meantime, I thank you for taking the time to read what I've shared, and I wish each one of you a happy, stress-free, rewarding, and exciting life! :-)

The following little snippet was e-mailed to me by my "personal cheerleader" (my dear sister-in-law) just as I was finishing this article, but hadn't yet posted it. Amazed, I thought it was timely and pertinent to my post, so I've included it here...co-incidence or the "Law of Attraction" at work?

P.S. December 22, 2015: I think, perhaps, that the mysterious "Sixth State" includes leading a balanced life, including a balanced approach to all things...I've certainly been trying to keep that in the back of my mind as I go about my daily activities, and it has helped me in many ways...may that continue.