The Art of Conflict Resolution

N.B. While the following process may sound overly simplistic, it can work based on its simple 'common sense' principles.

Just as there is a process into which an artist immerses himself/herself before creating a masterpiece, there is also a process that can be followed for people to resolve conflicts.

The next time you're about to have a 'discussion' with someone who may have a differing opinion than you about an issue, you may want to ask him/her if they would like to:

• be clear about the issue,
• accurately identify and agree upon what you're both trying to achieve, and
• effectively resolve an issue to your mutual satisfaction.

If he/she is willing, then it may be helpful if you both take a few moments to use the flow chart below to map out exactly what each of you desires...write out your answers separately, then compare notes. You're both more likely to resolve your situation or issue on a 'win-win' basis if you both completely understand each other's points of view and desires. 

Resolving your issue may end up with you both simply 'agreeing to disagree,' respectfully, then moving on, with no hard feelings toward each other...you will likely develop a deeper relationship, as a result...a better place to be, rather than further apart, wouldn't you agree? And, you would both end up creating your own 'masterpiece.'

N.B. While you're discussing the issue, you may find that other issues surface...set those aside to deal with another time, using this method...stick to one issue at a time for best results.

P.S. If you're wrestling with several options or paths to follow on a single issue that involves only yourself, you can also use the above approach and play 'devil's advocate' (take both sides) in order to decide which option/path would be best for you to implement.

FedEx Volatility: Three Strikes And You're Out!

* See UPDATE below...

Following Thursday's after-hours dire world-wide recession warning by FedEx CEO, its stock (FDX) has plunged this morning.

FDX has a history of volatile parabolic spikes and plunges. In fact, it had difficulty, twice, in holding any gains above 120.00 since it broke above in September 2013, as shown on the following monthly chart. Price is heading back to that level for a third time, as I write this post.

A drop and hold below 120.00 could see it hit its next major support level of 80.00, or lower.

If this is a harbinger of things to come, it will confirm that world markets are in for a very rough ride (as I first reported on July 26 and later updates).

Source: ZeroHedge

ZeroHedge excerpt

Source: ZeroHedge

ZeroHedge excerpt

* UPDATE Sept. 19...

It seems to me that markets have 'levitated on myths' since Day One, especially since March 2009, in the weeks, months and years following the 2008/09 financial crisis.

Fed Chairman Powell can't fix the global supply chain crisis, so his rate-raising actions won't curb inflation entirely, but will contribute to the giant economic mess that countries around the world now find themselves trying to overcome.

People, especially those on fixed and low incomes (and even middle incomes), are in for a lot of pain...thanks to the artificial market and economic environment that global central bankers have created over many years.

In other words, visualize the proportionality of 'cause and effect' and you get the picture.

Cause...Effect?

Source: ZeroHedge

ZeroHedge excerpt

ZeroHedge excerpt

Abraham Maslow (Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs) would be rolling in his grave if he saw the state of things now. 

Most people (99%) around the world are still struggling in the bottom two levels of the Hierarchy.

So much for so-called 'personal progress' over the centuries! 🤔

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

REMINDER: The Mayonnaise Jar

N.B. I originally posted this 11 years ago, after my husband died. In light of the current strife and challenges people are facing these days, I thought I'd repost it.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,

When 24 hours in a day is not enough,

Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.' The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. 'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff.' 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So... pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.' 

The Subversion of Women By Joe Biden's 'Woke' White House

I dedicate this post in memory of my dear Mom, who devoted her life to helping and advancing young women throughout her long and humble career.

The irony I laid out in my post of January 23 seems fitting, inasmuch as President Biden's White House has now replaced "mother" with "birthing person"...allegedly to be 'more inclusive' to people.

Source: Washington Examiner

"Truly, the greatest trick the patriarchy has ever pulled was convincing liberals that stripping women of the things that make them unique to appease trans men is somehow the progressive and 'inclusive' thing to do." -- Washington Examiner

This goes hand-in-glove with Biden's support of biological boys and men being allowed to compete in girls and women's' sports...and to enter and use girls and women's bathrooms and locker rooms. 

This is very insulting, disrespectful, demeaning, misogynistic, sexist, subverting, cruel, and dangerous to girls and women, in my opinion. Are they trying to wipe out women's existence altogether, with all of their 'woke gender-neutral' terminology and policies? 

However, 

• House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's Twitter profile still refers to her as a mother and grandmother, 
• Joe Biden's profile refers to him as a husband, father and grandfather, 
• Jill Biden's profile refers to her as a mother, grandmother and wife, and 
• Kamala Harris' profile refers to her as a wife, momala and auntie. 

So, what gives? Why the hypocrisy? 

In the name of equality, will "father" be replaced by "sperm vessel?" 😒

This idiocy should be called out for what it is...the perversion/bastardization of the English language. 

Women and girls are not robots! How dare they pull these subversive stunts!

By the way, at what point does this nonsense become a national security threat?

Source: WashingtonMO.com

But wait...there's more...thanks to various assertions made by Democrats over the years...

Somebody else has noticed that Democrats are trying to erase "women"...

So, why hasn't Merriam-Webster redefined "male?" 🤔 What a sexist slap in the face to women! And, why aren't so-called feminists speaking out against this crap?

It's clear that the Democrat party is a patriarchy, hell-bent on debasing women, based on the following stupid and cruel nonsense...😕

Source: ZeroHedge

Systemic Racism In Canada?

* N.B. Important UPDATE below...

An open letter to Prime Minister Trudeau:

Dear Prime Minister Trudeau,

I hope you receive my following plea in the spirit with which it's intended...to inform you, respectfully, of how I feel about a certain subject.

It seems that you've adopted the phrase "systemic racism in Canada" recently and have used it liberally in your daily press conferences. The context in which you've used it implies that all Canadians are racist, and, therefore, you've taken it upon yourself to lecture us every day that this is wrong.

As a Canadian, I find this kind of generalized rhetoric from anyone to be inflammatory, divisive, and offensive.

By the way, if you're asserting that all 'systems' are racist, it's kind of interesting to note that these 'systems' -- and 'institutions' -- have been run/managed by liberals...for decades...so, what gives?

I don't know what kind of an upbringing you had or what values were instilled in you as you were growing up, but I can assure you that, as a child of a loving Mother who was widowed when I was very young, I was taught to be kind to others and to treat them as I wished to be treated. She brought me to Church every Sunday to ensure that I had a rounded and complete exposure to life's many offerings. I will only kneel before God and to no other...to do so would be blasphemous for me.

We did not live a life of monetary privilege (nor do I now). On the contrary, my Mom worked hard to put herself through school, raise a family, and to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. Her work ethic was second to none. She taught me to be proud of my accomplishments. She was a great lady and role model, and was the best Mom anyone could have ever had. She passed away just over three decades ago, but she left a wonderful legacy behind, of which I'm extremely proud.

My Mom could have remained bitter because of experiences she'd had as a first-generation child of immigrants from several different countries in the United Kingdom. Her tiny community contained a diverse ethnic population of German, Polish, Ukrainian, Norwegian, Swedish, Scottish and English people. She said that pride in racial origin was likely instilled at home and racial tolerance was unheard of at that time. She recalled being involved in fights with some of the school children on the way home over which race was superior. On one occasion, she was taunted and called a "dirty Englishman" by one boy. She retaliated by calling him a "dirty Norwegian." To emphasize her anger, she threw her lunch pail at him. The pail missed her target and, instead, hit her own sister in the face, which remained cut and bruised for some time. No doubt, she was disciplined at home, because she recalls that ended the name calling.

She went on to become a teacher and worked for decades with underprivileged teenage girls and taught them a variety of occupational skills to enable themselves to work and earn a decent living. She was instrumental in expanding a two-year high school curriculum to a comprehensive four-year program, complete with diploma. Most of her students were from our neighbouring indigenous community and were abused and/or raped and impregnated by their own fathers. She helped give them a badly-needed fresh start in life, as well as emotional and mental support, and, in some instances, sanctuary for a while in our home. Mom was not actively participating in or promoting racism...instead, she was active in stemming the fallout of unjust treatment of her students from within their own culture.

Perhaps because of her own experiences, not once did my Mom mention that I should treat people of one ethnic background any differently, or better or worse, than any other...she made no such distinction. In fact, in the larger community where I grew up, most Canadians were second or third generation, some were first-generation immigrants from other countries, and some were multi-generational indigenous people, who all got along and wanted to create a better life for themselves and their families. We were interested in learning about their countries, cultures, and their experiences...and their food. One year, my teacher in grade school arranged for her students to correspond with pen pals of similar age from Kenya (that was many decades ago, long before social media was even a spark in someone's imagination...we wrote by pen on flimsy blue airmail stationery). I learned a great deal from my pen pal (who was an indigenous African boy) and it was one of the most interesting years of my life. I still remember his name...he had an amazing sense of humour and I always looked forward to his letters.

Living peacefully with our multi-cultural neighbours (near or far) was completely normal for us.

During my adult working life (in a cosmopolitan international city), my workplace enjoyed a thriving and harmonious multi-cultural environment. We worked cohesively to ensure that the fruits of our labour were productive and successful in accordance with our employers' expectations. It would have been totally unnatural and antithetical for any of us to discriminate against our fellow employees on the basis of their culture, ethnicity, or even class. It never crossed our minds to think or act in that way.

I do not hate anyone because of their race...as I wouldn't want to be hated because of my inherited (white) skin colour. It does not give me 'privilege' as some would naively and incorrectly presume and have proclaimed, especially recently. Such a decree automatically debases or subjugates people of a different skin colour to mine...so why would anyone do that and what gives them the right to think that they can? My skin colour has no merit in, either elevating me above or debasing me below, anyone else of a different skin colour. I can't do anything about it and I certainly would never apologize for being the product of my parents' mixed ethnicity. I do not feel guilty for my skin colour. On the contrary, I'm proud of my heritage and ancestors, and I should not, and will not, be disparaged for honouring that part of my background...neither will I allow my ancestors, especially my Mom, to be dishonoured. Nor would I do that to anyone else. And, I, especially, would not enable people to behave that way towards others...no one should be made to feel bad because of their skin colour and heritage. I think it's dangerous to adopt that kind of herd or cult mentality, as it may lead to extremist and hurtful actions.

Mr. Prime Minister, I disagree with your assessment that Canadians are systemically racist...and, you do not speak on my behalf when you say we are. Furthermore, that is my right, as is anyone's (including any leaders of Provinces or municipalities), in a democratic society under which Canada is bound. I have nothing to atone for (I've never worn blackface, nor have I mocked another for his/her race/ethnicity/skin colour) and do not feel it's my duty to atone for anyone else's past behaviours. We all know that each person is responsible for his/her own actions...and that it's up to them to decide what to do about it, if anything.

We all have different life experiences and stories to tell...perhaps we can create a calm and peaceful environment in which to share them some day.

Until then, Mr. Trudeau, please stop calling all of us systemically racist. If there are problems, take the appropriate action and work calmly with people to address those specific concerns. For example, perhaps work with single-parent families and arrange for their kids to be paired with a Big Brother or a Big Sister, if those organizations still exist and are safe.

There must be many solutions that can be discovered if people are instilled with the confidence and are inspired to do so. Perhaps they can overcome their feelings of being marginalized if they are partnered with others (or mentors) who will help them in their journey to a better and more peaceful life.

Conversely, wrongly generalizing and labelling everyone (albeit, perhaps, inadvertently) day after day will not do the trick. It will only inflame that situation, create unnecessary tensions for all people, and will please or satisfy no one. All groups of differing ethnicities will be left feeling marginalized and placed in a lose-lose situation that's guaranteed to fail.

Should we not try and find common ground with others to celebrate, instead of highlighting and demonizing our differences? I think that most people are inherently good and want the best for themselves and others.

We know that there is some discrimination in all areas and aspects of society, not just based on race, that people have been grappling with for decades, e.g.,

• physical violence and sexual abuse against, and the exploitation and human trafficking of, women and children (of all colours). I doubt whether they've felt very 'privileged' during those attacks or unlawful confinements. By the way, when women and children call 911 for help against their attackers, they want police to rescue them and arrest their assailants, not be met by a social worker who is untrained and unskilled in such events! To prevent police from helping women and girls in such situations is misogynistic, sexist and cruel...after all, women are taxpayers who pay for police protection, so do not deny them that right!
• lesser-publicized ageism against seniors (of all colours), particularly low-income seniors. No one is marching in the streets on our behalf to advocate for the provision of adequate government pensions to cover the rising costs of housing (rent), medical services (optometry visits and eye care, dental visits and procedures, chiropractor and physio treatments) and prescriptions, as well as other goods and services, or is shouting through bullhorns to insist that proper protection and care be provided for those seniors who have been abused and maltreated in long-term care homes for decades. That situation was exacerbated during the COVID-19 crisis shutdown, when family members were banned from visiting and providing their usual additional assistance and care for their loved ones. Some of these seniors may be war or peace-keeping veterans who've fought against tyranny and racism in other countries on our behalf. I doubt whether those seniors have felt very 'privileged' in these homes...and I doubt whether others, who are grappling with deciding whether to allocate more funds from their pensions towards food and housing or towards prescriptions and other medical needs, feel very 'privileged.'
• the stigma of addiction -- whether it be to drugs (street or prescription), alcohol, food, etc. -- and the crippling feelings of isolation and despair that it brings to those afflicted, as well as the physical toll that these wreak on their bodies...e.g., the debilitating after-effects of near-death experiences, as well as death, itself. Once that stigma is applied to any one person (regardless of their colour, age, gender, and socioeconomic status), it never leaves and they are left to the judgements and whims of those with whom they come into contact...not all of those judgements and whims are pleasant. I doubt whether those desperate and in need of understanding and help in recovering feel very 'privileged.'
• the stigma of physical and mental disabilities (afflicting people of all colours, ages, socioeconomic status, and gender). They are not only dealing with the limitations, themselves, but also the the frustrations caused by them. As with those suffering from addiction, not all of their interactions with others are pleasant. I doubt whether they feel very 'privileged.'

These are but a few examples of many sectors of society that bear some type of discrimination, or another.

Resolution of issues involving all types of discrimination comes from calm and respectful discussions, while maintaining open, attentive minds and ears and a closed mouth, in order to fully hear and understand each person/group's viewpoint. It won't happen if it's approached with a biased, accusatory attitude.

The key to success is having the desire to actively resolve, not tear apart or dismantle, conflict. Otherwise, the many bits that make up the whole of an issue get lost in the process and the situation remains unresolved. One method of conflict resolution that can be tried is described below.

But first, the actual issue that needs to be resolved must be correctly identified before it can be tackled. For example, perhaps the main issue of the excessive use of police force is not based, solely, on race, but encompasses a range of factors. (Presumably, any unwarranted or unlawful excessive use of force against any racial group is never acceptable...PERIOD). All of those potential factors would need to be uncovered by not limiting them to only one possibility at the outset...that of racial bias or discrimination. Otherwise, any hope for a successful reconciliation of the problem, in its entirety, is doomed for failure if it's hamstrung by such a narrow scope.

Equally, applying a 'knee-jerk-quick-fix' remedy such as "defunding the police" is no remedy at all...it does not fully address the problem...it would only exacerbate it and allow for more violence against the innocent and the nation, as a whole. Don't forget, all elected officials work FOR Canadians and have a duty to provide adequate security FOR their citizens, as does the Prime Minister who has a fiduciary responsibility for national security FOR the entire country. Currently, every Canadian citizen pays for police protection through their taxes, so they have the constitutional right to that protection...you may not, all of a sudden, relinquish your duty and deny Canadians that right!

In other words, be clear about what it is that you're trying to resolve and improve...and you're more likely to be successful. You may be surprised that the results were not quite what you expected. In fact, it's better to be devoid of any expectations on the outcome in order to avoid tainting the process.

Thanks for listening and for having the interest of all Canadians in mind as you tackle a whole multitude of issues on our behalf. It must be exhausting and, hopefully, rewarding, as well. Please know that I appreciate your commitment and dedication to all of us in this regard.

I think that most of us like to feel appreciated, rather than be shamed for something that we are not...especially my late Mom. 

We have no control over our skin colour and should not be ashamed or self-conscious...nor, should we be pilloried because of that.

Please do not vilify all Canadians because of a few bad apples...doing so will destroy the morale of the nation in a heartbeat. 

In closing, there are many good people in our country...and in the various police forces across Canada. It's my sincere hope that we hear more of that, along with their stories, for balance, for inspiration and for aspiration.

Have a great weekend and stay safe and healthy.

Best regards,
Candy Matheson

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Art of Conflict Resolution

Just as there is a process into which an artist immerses himself/herself before creating a masterpiece, there is also a process that can be followed for people to resolve conflicts.

The next time you're about to have a "discussion" with someone who may have a differing opinion than you about an issue, you may want to ask him/her if they would like to:

• be clear about the issue,
• accurately identify and agree upon what you're both trying to achieve, and
• effectively resolve an issue to your mutual satisfaction.

If he/she is willing, then it may be helpful if you both take a few moments to use the flow chart below to map out exactly what each of you desires...write out your answers separately, then compare notes. You're both more likely to resolve your situation or issue on a "win-win" basis if you both completely understand each other's points of view and desires. 

Resolving your issue may end up with you both simply "agreeing to disagree," respectfully, then moving on, with no hard feelings toward each other...you will likely develop a deeper relationship, as a result...a better place to be, rather than further apart, wouldn't you agree? And, you would both end up creating your own "masterpiece."

N.B. While you're discussing the issue, you may find that other issues surface...set those aside to deal with another time, using this method...stick to one issue at a time for best results.

P.S. If you're wrestling with several options or paths to follow on a single issue that involves only yourself, you can also use the above approach and play "devil's advocate" (take both sides) in order to decide which option/path would be best for you to implement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

* UPDATE July 20...

Just when I thought I'd heard it all, this video clip surfaced today...it actually confirms what I said above about the effort to defund the police being misogynistic, sexist and cruel to women and girls.

Only this time it can also be applied to what Democrats want in America...case in point is Minnesota Democrat Attorney General Keith Ellison saying that he doesn't want police officers to respond to rape!

Check out the looks on the faces of both women...they can't even face him as he makes these stunning remarks! Shame on him!

Does this not signal that their endgame is to decriminalize rape as an offence...and who knows what else?

Women and girls have a right to be disgusted by and push back on such stupid, reckless and harmful policies and the people who suggest them!

WAKE UP, WOMEN...AND DEMAND YOUR RIGHTS AND POLICE PROTECTION!

Source: GOP War Room

The Bubble No One Talks About

What is it?  The MEDIA BUBBLE!

Seriously, who has time to check out all available sources of news these days? And, where do you start? Who do you trust for fair and accurate information?

Middle-class working folks are too busy trying to earn a living and create a healthy and balanced life for their families to worry about who is saying what and try to figure out who's relaying true facts.

Reality tells me that the only ones who wade through endless scores of tabloid stories are those who work in the media industry.

Like the Baby Boomers who are busy downsizing and simplifying their lives to determine what really matters, it's time the media did the same.

As a boomer myself, I've learned that, with age, comes a realization that focusing on what's truly important to me, in the short term (today) and longer term (the big picture), and trusting my own instincts, helps me ensure that decisions I make are in alignment with my intentions and values and how well I'm actually honouring those values. And, to help me downsize (physically, emotionally, socially and psychologically), it's been very important to accept, appreciate, learn from, and let go of the past, and then move forward with faith in my abilities to handle what's in front of me...that's where my energies are optimally and most valuably utilized.

By the way, this approach can be very helpful in trading the markets, as well...successfully and confidently moving from one completed trade to the next new one.

Admittedly, there are, however, some bubbles that are rather enjoyable...






* UPDATE July 29, 2019...

It looks like the liberal media has not moved on from, or even accepted, the results of the 2016 Presidential election. The two most overused words since then have been "racist" and "impeachment"...referring, of course, to President Trump.

And, it hasn't changed since the recent finalization of the Special Counsel investigation into Russian meddling and purported Trump-Russia collusion, which showed the absence of any crime by Trump or anyone associated with his campaign. In fact, the media has stepped up their attacks on the President and have increased their use of those two words since then, and you'd think he had committed a crime(s).

Aren't Americans getting tired of such inflammatory, patently biased and divisive rhetoric? When will the media (journalists) return to simply reporting facts and actual news, without delivering it with a politically-biased slant or interjecting their own views and demands? They sound more like lobbyists and activists instead of self-proclaimed journalists.

* UPDATE Aug. 22, 2022...

Perhaps liberal media outlets like CNN are finally getting the message...we'll see...

Source: ZeroHedge

Moving from Conflict to Peace and Beyond

Conflicts arise by any number of means...bullying, aggression (physical, emotional, psychological), threats, passive withdrawal, cyber-hacking, ostrasizing, wars...all leading to chaos.

All affected parties must have a genuine desire to end conflicts. To simplify this process, all parties must know and agree upon what kind of long-term, mutually-beneficial, synergistic relationship that they wish to co-create and maintain...one which is single-minded in its purpose and, at the same time, multi-servicing in its actualization. From that end-game perspective, solutions and actual resolutions can be created, resulting in contentment, harmony, peace, and enlightenment. All parties (and the new partnership) can then ascend to Maslow's highest form of basic human needs...that of self-actualization.

The alternative is a guarantee that there will be no peace...no ascension to self-actualization.

On a personal level, if you live your life without knowing your life purpose and values, it becomes a wandering, chaotic, and repetitive generality on the road to mediocrity.

Your life can, however, be meaningful, fulfilling, have a purpose, and have value for you and for others. Are you ready to discover yours, live the life you want and self-actualize along the way? What's present when you're at your best? What will make this happen? How can that be achieved?

Basically, life consists of experiencing many new things. Then, learning from those, we develop new ways to increase our contentment with our lives...one of the perks of growing older. How you interpret and learn from those experiences, along with being intimate with your life purpose and values, will shape your next adventures. Aren't you worth it to be as content as possible with your successes along the way?

"I don't mind getting older as long as the cakes keep getting bigger."

--Author Unknown

The "Holy Grail" and "Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs"

Unless the rules of the logical brain are sprinkled liberally with the ideas of the creative mind whose joint purpose is to seek benefits for ALL of mankind, then each of us might just as well pack up and move on in search of our own "Holy Grail" separate worlds...because the disjointed and unbalanced way things are going in today's world tells me that the search here on Earth will end one day...no one will be left to light the flame, let alone make the wick.

If the "powers that be" want to know where to begin, they can start with the bottom level of "Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs"...there are many holes in each level of today's societal pyramid that need to be filled in, especially in the bottom level. Some say that we humans have evolved and made progress over the centuries...unless today's mal-formed pyramid is repaired from the bottom up, we are poised to make bigger mistakes on an even greater scale than other civilizations did in the past because our pyramid is that much bigger and unbalanced...and it will topple on a much grander scale.